Managing Social Anxiety Disorder

I've had problems with Social Anxiety Disorder since I was in college...probably since I was in high school...but it really showed up in college.  I think because I went to a small enough highschool, and I knew everybody there that it wasn't such a big deal then.  College was a different story....it was wonderful to get away from what I'd know all my life and sort of reinvent myself.  It was even better to meet people like myself and connect with different opinions and views on the world.  But lack of self-esteem and a thorough unsureness of who I was was there constantly and the anxiety attacks and panic attacks...sometimes it was a living hell.
I had a breakdown the summer before my last year.  I was trapped in a toxic environment full of people who were very negative and mean.  They wouldn't help anybody but themselves and they would go out of their way to make others' lives more difficult for their own enjoyment.  I worked in a room without windows....I think that really made matters worse.  There was an incident where I got yelled at for no good reason and that was the straw.
I went through counseling, but refused medication (they wan't to put me on a combination of Paxil and Welbutrin...I'm glad I refused).  In hind sight I should have just quit work that summer and gone onto something different.  I don't know why I didn't do that.

It's stupid....I have a hard time communicating with people.  I don't know what to say.  I'm afraid of looking awkward or like an idiot.  I'm so afraid of people sometimes that it really sort of affects my life.  I have a hard time talking to people on the phone...even calling customer service is difficult for me. 
I don't want it to be that way...but I don't know what to do about it.  Maybe I need to be on meds...but I've heard so many bad things about meds that I have a hard time even thinking about subjecting myself to them.  It affects my personal life, it affects my social life, it affects my professional life.  I'm functioning, but I know I could be functioning better...I just don't know how to sometimes.